Hello new friends, people I don't know.  And a few people I do.  I want to get raw with you for a moment in the hopes that it may help someone else out there in the internet land.  It feels vulnerable to talk about these things, so I want to ask you all to be kind.  (CN: Postpartum rage, suicidal thoughts, intrusive thoughts)

I read an article this morning that threw me off balance in a big way.  I found myself tearing up and feeling nauseous in the middle of my kitchen in Brewster, reading it on my phone while my four year old asked for a glass of juice and my puppy tore up the living room carpet.  It's this article: Naked.  Please go read it.  It's short, but it spoke to me in a way that few things do.  

After the birth of my twins, I was battered.  Traumatized.  Their birth and early infancy went exactly the opposite of what I had been dreaming of: unwanted cesarean birth, NICU stay for respiratory distress.  My sweet, precious babies